Dear Family and Friends, 

Please help raise funds to give me the gift of my lifetime - a beautiful glass photographic portrait of myself by world-renowned portrait and fashion photographer Robbie Merritt - and support the work of an incredible local charity - Cancer Support WA.

Please show your support by sponsoring my portrait.

Thank you,

Paula Maree Squiers

My Story

My story starts from the 20^th May 2010, this was the day that will be etched into my mind -  The day that I was told that I had a very aggressive breast cancer. This was the day that started the long hard road of operations and treatments.

It’s hard to put into words how I was feeling because all I can remember is that the room seemed big and even though there were people in the room I felt very much alone. I couldn't believe that at the age of 39 with four children I was being told that I had cancer in my body. I couldn't even think of what questions needed to be asked, but I do remember the Doctor telling me that because of my age having a double mastectomy was too drastic and instead I should have a lumpectomy followed by radiation and chemotherapy. I was also referred onto the gene testing unit at King Edward Memorial Hospital to see if I had the Cancer gene, this was because my grandmother and 2 Aunties on my father’s side had passed away from cancer.

I went home that day in a daze, even though you know something isn't right with your breast you never think they will tell you the worst possible outcome.

So I had the lumpectomy followed by many appointments with Doctor's and the Gene Centre. During this time I started having chemotherapy and that I can tell you was not a pleasant experience. Not only was the chemotherapy strong & invasive, but on top of this I still had to work full time so I could pay rent and feed my children, whilst going through a divorce at the same time.

Then it all became too much and I had to have a week off from work after a bout of chemo because I just couldn't move out of bed. My family and children looked after me, which for a mother is very hard to accept, this is my role as the mum I’m meant to be looking after them and not the other way around. I hated my children seeing me sick. I also hated that I would lose all my hair, I felt like a freak!

During this period my gene results came back, they were positive to the BRAC1 gene, meaning I had the cancer gene. We all assumed that it would of come from my Dad’s side of the family because of their history, and as my siblings had different Dads we had to go through the process of getting my dad tested to see if he had the gene. He came back negative so it had to come from our mother’s side, this meant all my siblings would have to be tested. Thus far the test has come back positive for both my older sister and myself.

The next step was to see the radiation Doctor who told me that because I had the BRAC1 gene the best option for me, so that I could be around until I was 80 years old was to have a double Mastectomy!! And if I was do this then I was advised that I wouldn't need radiation as the breast tissue would be removed, once again I listened to my Doctor and I opted for a double mastectomy.

I was given the double Mastectomy in September 2011. Yes, that is a long time from being diagnosed to having a double, but I had already gone through the chemo, plus I had the lump removed and the lymph nodes were clear so I wasn't really worried about it. Also my Doctors were happy and didn't seem worried so why should I be’.

It was weird waking up after a 13 hour operation knowing my breasts had been removed and they had made new breasts from my stomach. Tubes were coming out of places in my stomach and breasts, I spent about 3 weeks in hospital and then I came home, a nurse would visit me to change my dressings and check the tube that I still had in me.

As soon as I could I went back to work which in hindsight was silly of me because I ended up back in hospital with an infection and having to have another operation.

I was then booked in to have my ovary removed because that is another precaution you can take when you have the BRAC1 gene. At this time I was still experiencing issues with my stomach so I went along to my local hospital to see if they could ascertain what was going on. They did a CT scan on my stomach and this was when I found out my cancer had metastasis and had spread to my lung, I had 2 small tumours but they could not be operated on because of where they were located.

Yet another shock! I was in so much turmoil, I couldn't believe that the breast cancer had spread as I was given the all clear.

I was then referred onto my now oncologist Kynan Feeney at the Peel hospital, he started me on the chemo Abraxin, I was told then I would be on Chemo for life. This was when I changed my life, I took my 2 youngest children to Melbourne and thought it’s time for me to enjoy life and get rid of people in my life that bring me down. It was also the time that I allowed myself to let someone very special into my life. Things started to look up for me I had a couple of scans and the results were very positive there was no cancer, this gave me hope, I was beating this thing. So I asked the question again to my oncologist -  “Do you think I can have a break from chemo and how long do I have?” My sister and my new partner were in the room when I was told 24 months and “No Paula you will be on chemo for life!” My world came crashing down again. I walked out of that office in a daze and I had to keep it together because I have to be strong. I came home with Barry (my partner) and I was just quiet I didn't know what to say, but he did he said “I’ve waited over 20 years for you, I'm not waiting anymore how about on your birthday we make it a double celebration?”.

So on the 27 January 2013 I married the most wonderful supportive loving man, we took a honeymoon to Tasmania and life was good.

I was scheduled for another scan so I went along to Charlies for my appointment had my scan, I wasn't really worried because I had been feeling good within myself nothing out of the ordinary. I went to see Kynan and that was when I was told I had 2 brain tumours on the right side of the brain, so here I go again yet another battle I have to fight. I was rushed to Charlies for an emergency CT and consult with a neurosurgeon. I was told again surgery wasn't an option so I was put on radiation and another chemotherapy, which I’m still currently on and have been told that I will be on this indefinitely.

I am bald again and get tired very easily, but the silver lining to my story is I found the love of my life, I have great kids who would do anything for their mum and my siblings are always just a phone call away. My Dad and step Mum are very supportive and they’ve given me so much love that at times I feel guilty for not being able to help them. I have nieces and nephews that if Aunty Pip needs anything they will come and do it and the friends I have, well what can I say they get me through some bad days.

Cancer is a horrible thing and it’s like going on a roller coaster ride with your emotions, but in saying that I will never give up the fight I have too much to fight for, all I can say is out of all this darkness I have all this love around me and that is what keeps me going.

Thank you,

Paula Maree Squiers