Dear family and friends,

Please help raise funds to support the work of an incredible local charity - Cancer Support WA.

My story is below.

It's cancer" said my GP. For about a month I had been concerned about puckering around my nipples but had put off going to the doctor as we were in the throes of settlement on our new house and all the excitement and busyness of moving into our beautiful dream home. And it was only six months previously that I had undergone routine mammogram and been given the all clear. In fact, on that occasion I was called back for further testing as calcification had been detected in my right breast - something which is common to about 30% of all women and usually benign but can be a precursor to cancer. I underwent more detailed mammograms and ultrasounding at a specialist breast clinic at a leading public hospital by a specialist breast radiologist and was told that I did not have cancer. What a relief! Except I now know that my cancer is in the small minority that is not detectable on mammogram or ultrasound. Nor was it detectable on physical examination as there were no obvious lumps. By the time I ended up at the Mount Hospital in November 2011 and underwent still more mammograms, ultrasound and biopsies by a top breast radiologist, I was still assured that they did not think it was cancer because there was no discernible mass. It was only the results of the biopsies that confirmed the diagnosis of an aggressive, invasive breast cancer. Months later I was sent a letter of apology by the public hospital that failed to detect the cancer.

My GP told me that treatment would be a double mastectomy. I insisted that this be booked immediately. Within days I was seeing a leading breast surgeon at the Mount. He advised that full body scans should be undertaken prior to surgery in case the cancer had already spread. I then underwent bone scans and CT scanning which revealed the cancer had already spread like wildfire through my body. The breast surgeon said there was no point in operating as it had already spread. By now I felt like the living dead. "You won't survive this" were his pointed words. "So what's the good news" I asked weakly. I remember my bewildered partner, Shane, and I sitting in a cafe on King St between multiple medical appointments and trying to work out a plan as to how Shane and our two year old son, Harry, could manage on their own without me. The breast surgery was cancelled and I was told by the breast surgeon that I would undergo chemotherapy and be bald by Christmas. I was told the scans revealed a fracture in my neck and that the cancer had gotten into the broken bone and that I needed radiation therapy to my neck. But they weren't sure if my neck was stable enough to undergo radiotherapy so I was referred to a spinal surgeon in case I needed spinal surgery before the radio. I was told "You could become a paraplegic". I had always been such a fit and healthy person, took salad to work for lunch most days, went to the gym, and had always been a runner. Sure, I enjoyed a glass of wine and had a child in my 40s, factors which undoubtedly increased my breast cancer risk but I was not overweight, and was probably fitter and healthier than most. It didn't seem real that one day I could be jogging around Lake Monger doing high intensity training and the next I was being told I had cancer and could become a paraplegic.

I vividly recall my first appointment with Professor Arlene Chan. One of the first things she told us was how much research was being done in the field of breast cancer research and that new treatments were becoming available all the time. There was something called hormone treatment which she thought my cancer might respond to. She said, "If this treatment works, we can keep you alive for a long time.” When Professor Chan told me this, after we had been led to believe that nothing could be done, I was so bloody grateful that I hugged her.  Professor Chan gave me information and she also gave me hope. She is a wonderful doctor, well deserving of her nomination as West Australian of the Year and is one of the best things to happen to me on my cancer journey.

I have now been on hormone treatment for the past 18 months. Every four weeks, I go to the clinic at the Mount and have an intravenous bone strengthener injected into my arm and a needle in my tummy which is a drug that blocks oestrogen. This has tipped me into early menopause. The side effects include aching bones, sleeplessness, hot flashes, tiredness and hormonal ups and downs. A small price to pay for my life and hey I still have my hair (so the breast surgeon was wrong about that!) for now at least.

The full body scan I had revealed another concealed medical issue - a sizeable brain aneurysm which is a potential ticking time bomb. This has meant squeezing yet more medical appointments and scans into my busy schedule. My neurosurgeon has recommended surgical stenting of the aneurysm which means more time in hospital and time off work along with the attendant risk of having surgery to the brain. If I don't get the stenting done, the aneurysm could haemorrhage, leaving me dead or seriously incapacitated. In a strange way, I am grateful that having breast cancer resulted in detection of another life threatening illness - one which can be treated.

One of the other best things to happen to me is Cancer Support WA. A friend gave me Ian Gawler's book, You Can Conquer Cancer which led me to investigate whether WA might have something similar to the Gawler Institute in Victoria. And I discovered CSWA. The open support group meets every Tuesday, led by the wonderful Dr Angela Ebert and Mike Sowerby, both highly qualified counsellors. Their gentle wisdom and compassion guide the group through what has on each of my attendances proved a remarkable and uplifting occasion. To attend a support group meeting at CSWA is a truly special experience. I am forever indebted to the CSWA staff, volunteers and members for their support and friendship especially at those times when I have been at my lowest. CSWA has not only given me support when I've desperately needed it; they have made me realise there is much that I can do to take control of my health. I have made radical changes to my diet and take naturopathic supplements. Daily juicing, meditation and exercise have helped me become healthier than I ever was before. The crazy thing is that I look and mostly feel weller than well. One could almost say that I am thriving on metastatic breast cancer. And my tumour markers have been coming down, down, down as the tumours are shrinking and/or stabilising. I cannot help but wonder if everything that I am doing for my health is contributing to this as well as the conventional treatment I am having.

I recently underwent bilateral mastectomy, removal of lymph nodes and breast reconstruction. I intuitively felt this was right for me and made my decision after seeking expert medical opinion including a second opinion from a professor of surgical oncology. This surgery entailed a week in hospital. My partner, Shane, cared for our little boy, Harry, during this time. For months after I came out of hospital, Harry asked me every day, "Mamma are you all better now?" .I always told him yes. The breast reconstruction is almost complete and I am pretty happy with my new boobs. In fact, I think I will end up with something much better than I started with!!

My brother and sister-in-law gave me a gratitude journal to record every day the many things that I am grateful for.  In fact, all of my family relationships have become deeper and stronger as a result of my illness. My sister lives in New York but that doesn’t stop her calling every few days to check in and see how I'm doing. I am constantly blown away by the kindness of friends and family, especially those who, unasked, have quietly dropped meals over or helped hang the washing or minded Harry so I could rest at those times when we've needed a bit of extra help. And of course Shane has been loyally by my side throughout. I could not have done this without him.My boss and work colleagues have been amazing in their support and endeavours to make my working life less stressful (as much as it's possible for a lawyer to not have stress in their job!) 

I have made many new friends through CSWA. I have also lost a few friends along the way. My cancer journey has also become a spiritual journey. I suspended my lawyerly, forensic approach to my illness and consulted a spiritual healer - one of the best things I ever did. I have learnt much and continue to learn from the spiritual teachings of Ajahn Brahm, head of the Bodhinyana Monastery at Serpentine. I listen to his podcasts all the time on my IPod and the wisdom and compassion of his teachings has helped give me inner strength whenever I’ve needed it.  Additionally, I take great comfort in talking to breast cancer survivors - and there are many - including Gill and Rachel whose stories appear on this website and who have generously given me their time and shared information with me. These inspirational women are the unsung heroes of this world.

I am a lawyer and a working mum with a three year old child. I also have metastatic breast cancer and have been confronted with my own mortality much sooner in life than I ever anticipated. We are all terminal and will all face our own mortality one day. As the Buddha wisely said, the future is uncertain. I suppose mine is a bit more uncertain than most. And that's OK with me.

To see the portrait in a larger scale please follow this link: -

http://www.youarebeautiful.cancersupportwa.org.au/#!Susan-Hill/zoom/cfvg/image1pq1

I need to raise at least $1,000 to keep the portrait and am thrilled to have achieved this thanks to your generosity. I am now asking people to sponsor me for $20 (or more if you feel like it) to raise money for Cancer Support WA, a wonderful charity which has helped me and many others on our cancer journey. Please show your support for us by sponsoring my portrait.

Thank you.

Susan Hill